I’ve been quiet over the last several months, but for good reason and if you already follow me on Instagram you know the reason why. I’m excited to share that after five years of unexplained infertility, we are looking forward to welcoming a little girl in November 2021.
Infertility is a crushing, heart-wrenching experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone. The last five years have been a crash course in women’s medicine, teaching me above all else to always advocate for yourself, seek additional opinions, and never to give up. It’s hard to know exactly what made the biggest difference and finally allowed us to become pregnant.
After six unsuccessful iui cycles at two different specialists we decided in December 2020 to move forward with IVF at a third specialist. After being cleared to proceed I was instructed to call the office at my next cycle day 1. Much to our surprise that cycle never came and UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY….. Miraculously became….. a natural Pregnancy.
While we prepared to move into IVF I took a few months to work on my mental health, attend acupuncture and see what else I could do to better prepare my body for IVF including visiting my primary care doctor to make sure there wasn’t any other hormonal reason I was continuing to struggle with conception. He looked through my cart and immediately asked if any of the specialists I visited previously had provided a diagnosis of PCOS. Based on my bloodwork, he felt it was likely PCOS was a factor in our infertility and recommended trying metformin, the typical PCOS treatment, as a long shot while we waited to start IVF.
During our initial consult with our third reproductive endocrinologist she shared that yes, I definitely have PCOS and I should tell my primary care doctor he was correct. Three weeks later I had my first ever positive pregnancy test. I can’t say for certain that metformin was the reason we finally conceived on our own, but I do know I am grateful to have a doctor who listens and was willing to try a new treatment path.
Over five years I’ve mentally planned a lot of different ways to announce our pregnancy, but now that we’re here I am love how we were able to tell our love story through the arrival of our little one.
Drew and I met in college at Colorado State University in Fort Collins, thanks largely to our shared membership in Greek organizations. Being a member of a Fraternity [yes, women’s organizations can be fraternities as well] is a huge part of who we both are and our experiences are ones we will share with our daughter so she can decide if she wants to continue in Greek Life when she’s in college.
Pregnancy photos by the amazing and talented Amanda at Belle Vie Photography. Amanda was a huge trooper driving all the way up from Denver to take photos with us in the 100+ plus heat! Even with all of us literally melting they came out so amazing!!!
Disclaimer: I received a Philips Hue Starter Kit as inspiration for this post. All opinions and writing are my own.
In our old neighborhood we lived directly under a street lamp. As a result our porch and house was always well lit.
We’ve been in our current house just over two years and with COVID keeping us home more, we are finally getting around to updating things around the house that really bug us, like how dark it is outside at night. Our neighborhood faces a semi-rural farm area, so outside of the handful of street lamps, it’s really dark.
Beyond simply being able to see outside, outdoor lighting is a good deterrent for crime. Lights make the entire street safer, and make it easier for home security camera’s to pick up anyone suspicious in the neighborhood. With Drew’s work schedule, being home alone is more of a rule than an exception, and adding small things that help me feel safe is important.
My solution up until now has been to just leave the lights on all the time. I’d turn them off in the morning, but that requires remembering to TURN OFF THE LIGHTS. After replacing the old fixtures to update the look, the next step to really improving the lighting situation was finding the perfect smart lights.
When I found Philips Hue, I knew it was the perfect solution to all of my problems. To get rolling quickly, I tried out the Philips Hue Starter Kit which included the Hue Bridge and 4 lights that go from both warm to cool white. Note: The bulbs included in the starter kit are not outdoor rated, but because our lights are protected from the weather I feel comfortable using them outside.
Without the requirement to purchase a subscription, Philip’s Hue uses the compact Hue Bridge to connect up to 50 lights and power the entire home all from my mobile phone. The Hue Bridge was super easy to set up, just plug into power and internet and we were in business.
Once plugged in the next step is switching out the regular build for Philips Hue Smart lights. It really is that simple and took only a couple of minutes to change out the entire front of the house. There was no need to scan a code or try and get each bulb to connect to internet individually. Once powered on the smart lights automatically pick up the Hue connection and appear on the phone app.
I couldn’t of asked for an easier project.
The way our lights are powered, one switch controls both the light on the front door, and the three lights on the garage. Before adding the Hue Bulbs if you wanted any lights on, they all needed to be on at once. Through the Hue App I was able to program the two areas separately allowing the door light to remain illuminated from sunset to sunrise, and keeping the garage lights off.
Our front door is set back on the side of the garage, so if anyone comes up to the front of the house from the driveway, we don’t know until they are almost at the door. Since the plan was to have the smart lights on the garage off most of the time, adding a Dusk-to-Dawn Outdoor Motion Sensor provides an additional level of security. If someone happens to walk up towards our door, the lights will automatically flip on and make it appear that we noticed them and changed the switch from inside. We could even trigger another set of lights inside, giving us additional peace of mind.
When we are allowed to travel again I’m looking forward to being able to control the entire smart lighting system from my phone. We can even add interior lights that turn on and off no matter where we are in the world [or just switching off lights without getting up from bed].
Learn about Ring’s First Responder Discount in my post on Summer Home Safety
Disclaimer: I received a Stick Up Camera Solar from Ring as inspiration for this post. All opinions and writing are my own.
It’s finally starting to feel like summer in Colorado and for me that means more time outside, more yard work and more reasons to explore the beautiful outdoors. Whether I’m traveling or just out for a day trip up to the mountains, keeping an eye on things around the house is important, both during the summer and beyond. No matter what adventures the warm weather brings, a few easy precautions can make summer home safety second nature.
Before Drew started full time law enforcement he worked for a major electronics company in Colorado. One of the projects he worked on was the team at Ring, before they brought the Ring doorbell to market. At the time I remember talking about how useful it could be both for families and police departments, now flash forward several years in the future Ring is the leading brand making DIY home security easy and affordable for families.
Keep an eye on the front door
When we moved to our new house one of the first projects I worked on was installing a Ring Doorbell on the front of the house. With Drew’s job requiring odd hours and my perpetual online shopping habit being able to keep an eye on the front door was a priority. I installed the doorbell myself in just a few minutes and the hardest step was finding the right drill bit to go into the brick on the front of the house.
Now when we travel it’s nice to be able to let family and friends know if there is a package on the front porch no matter where in the world we may be.
Install a video security camera
While seeing the front door is a great start to keeping the home secure, adding an additional camera can help with additional peace of mind. Our front door is next to the garage, so anything happening on the left side of the door isn’t visible from the doorbell camera. We live in a nice area so I’m not usually worried about leaving lawn equipment outside in the back yard but it’s nice to have that extra feeling of security.
When Drew’s working and I’m home alone it’s nice to be able to peek out in front of the house if I hear anything unusual. With how the door is located, looking at the driveway or gate requires looking out an upstairs window. If we are traveling, that part of the house isn’t visible at all.
Since I already love our Ring Doorbell the Ring Stick Up Cam Solar was the perfect choice for adding that extra bit of security. Easy to set up, everything we needed to install the camera was in the box, including a drill bit. Battery powered, you can either charge the battery manually every few weeks or attach a Ring Solar Panel to keep charging whenever the sun is shining.
We installed ours on the edge of the garage using a couple of small screws (provided in the kit) and the articulating arm made it easy to adjust the camera to whatever angle would capture the most of the yard. The Stick Up Cam features a wide angle HD Camera and the ability to talk through the camera if anyone enters the yard and sets off the alert. Using the Ring App I can playback video later from my Ring account or see live views of whatever is happening in front of my house.
It’s nice to be able to keep an extra set of eyes on the house no matter how busy the summer gets and I love that Ring is a company that supports law enforcement families. Finding a good home security system is a conversation that comes up in a lot of the Police Wife groups I’m a part of . Being home alone with the family can be scary, especially for those with kids, so knowing whatever service you use is one you can rely on is important. Ring definitely fits those needs for our family.
View the full details about the discount program on the Ring website.
Interested in other products law enforcement families like ours love? Check out my holiday gift guide for police wives.
The morning of December 31, 2017 I picked up my phone from the nightstand. Drew was asleep next to me and knowing he was working through the night on New Years Eve I planned to let him sleep in a bit longer. I opened facebook where headline after headline read ‘5 deputies ambushed in Douglas County.’ I lay there reading each article as the news unfolded, looking for any scrap of information about what happened, trying to understand how such a horrific event could dismantle the lives of so many families. I knew that one of Drew’s former coworkers was working that shift and was hoping and praying that somehow he wasn’t on that call.
I remember hearing Drew begin to shuffle awake, and rolling over to look at him before he too reached for a phone from the side of the bed. It’s a moment that’s become burned in my memory. “Hey, before you look at the news you should know there’s been a shooting in Douglas County. Five officers are injured but they haven’t released any other information.”
As a police wife you live with the constant fear and worry trickling in the back of your mind that each day is a gift, each day he could go to work and not come home. You pray that you’ll never be on the receiving end of having a team of officers show up at your door to take you to the hospital and you cry for the families that do.
For the first three years of him working in law enforcement, it didn’t feel ‘real’. He was a reserve, working one day a week and I didn’t feel like I had the right to be worried or scared. My husband wasn’t risking his life everyday so it was fine, not a big deal. When he accepted a full time position, things changed but the realness of the danger and the job never really bothered me.
A few weeks after Drew started full time, we were invited over for a barbecue with a family of one of Drew’s former co-workers from the reserve job. He too had transitioned from reserve to full time just a few years before. I will never forget standing in their kitchen and talking to his wife. She asked how I was feeling, if I was worried about the new job. I replied with the same thing I’d said a thousand times before. “I trust that he has good training and good coworkers. He’s always a cop even when he’s not on shift and at least then he has good backup.” I laughed retelling a story about Drew running out into traffic at an accident in our neighborhood.
Little did I know how much that conversation would haunt me throughout the last twelve months. I think about it all the time. That wife was Gracie Parrish. The one police family I met. The one wife I’d really gotten to talk to.
As the rest of the morning on December 31 unfolded, Drew was agitated and unsettled. He went upstairs to play video games while I tried to clean the kitchen, keeping an eye on the news stations in the background.
When they announced one of the deputies had died and that there would be a press conference, I paced in the kitchen. I could hear the video games upstairs and knew that Drew probably didn’t want to watch whatever they were going to show. I couldn’t bring myself at that point to turn on the tv and was texting with my mom. “The name of the deputy is Zack Parrish.” she said. I remember feeling cold and typing back quickly. “No, that can’t be right. He has two babies. Two little girls.” I wrote back.
I walked up the stairs and put my hand on Drew’s back. He had headphones in and was in the middle of some group game.
“Drew, they announced the name of the deputy who died.” He looked up at me, “It’s Zack.” He pulled the headphones off and slammed his hand into the desk with emotion. Together we cried and cried. I cried at seeing Drew so upset, cried thinking about Gracie and the girls. It was a painful, life altering emotional experience. This wasn’t someone I really knew. At the time I had no idea how close Drew had been with him.
Time after that seemed to move more slowly and the wound was raw as news continued to pour out about that evening. Each time Zack’s name would appear on Facebook or on the news that cold feeling would come over my shoulders, settling into a pit in my stomach that I would carry around. Over the last year I’ve learned more about Drew and Zack’s friendship. Watched as Drew has continued to mourn for a friend. I have yet to shrug off the cold painful feeling that comes across when I see Zack’s name and I probably never will.
This year has changed me. I’ve spent a lot of time connecting with other police wives, building a community for myself of women who understand those emotions. It’s helped to hear the stories of those who have retired, the learn how families juggle scheduling and children. Really get a grasp on what it means to live this life and know that we are not alone.
I don’t fear constantly for Drew and his safety, if I did I would never sleep. I am proud of my husband and the blue family he stands beside and I pray for their safety every night.
The night of December 31, 2017 Drew went to work. Despite all the pain, all the emotion, he put his uniform on and headed out into the night to protect those who need protecting.
Through it all, that’s the lesson I’ve learned from Zack’s death. No matter how dark the night may be, or how hard the job is, there are men and women who will continue to dress out each evening and put their lives on the line for the rest of us.
Greater love has no man than this, that he who lays down his life for his friends. John 15:13
In honor of Zack’s memory you can support police families by making a donation to The Shelter Foundation. Gracie Parrish started The Shelter Foundation to guide and support LEO families. You can learn more about the Shelter Foundation and the work they are doing on their website.
